Cookies, dates, and match.com

So there really were cookies in my mothers pants. It is not the sort of thing that anyone prepares you for. There was never a time that my mother, a proper librarian in the day, ever told me to expect this. I mean my mom was big on being prepared. She told me about men( well more or less and mostly less) she told me about money( do as i say not as i do) she told me how to shake someones hand upon meeting them( quite convinced it has gotten me many a job.) but she never said to me...." Diane there will come a day when you will spend much of your time taking food out of my pockets, from under my bed and yes even sometimes from my pants. I guess, in her defense, you don't ever think to say that.

For those of you who do not know my mom has Dementia. Full blown...don't know who you are...or as my dad used to say "does not know her ass from a hole in the ground".

Then just because the fates decided to see what i am made of... my Dad has Alzheimer's.

He still knows me but the short term memory is pretty much gone. Which makes for an interesting time with the two of them. Meals take a long time. Everything takes a long time.

Some days I start singing the "its 5:00 somewhere" song during breakfast. Well now do not judge...breakfast is long and between the thievery( she likes to take the silverware, and him the jelly...lots of jelly) and the occasional pointing out( loudly) how fat someone is, some breakfasts are long and thoughts turn to that nice bottle of wine that I have at home. Just thoughts so far.

Dating at 54 is interesting. Lots of guys my age look...old. Which indicates that I must look old too! I guess in some ways it is easier to meet people than in the past as there are things like match.com and E harmony. So you can see and get to know someone ( sort of) before the first meet. Of course they all cost money and being separated is already too expensive!

Match.com is the one that i chose. I actually used my Christmas money to give me 6 months. So we will see what happens. I know what i want. I want companionship. I want to go out. I do not want a relationship unless it is another friend. You really cannot have too many friends.

i need to be "in love" as much as I need another parent with Alzheimer's! YIKES!!!

So who is this blog for? Mostly me but if you have a parent or two with Dementia or Alzheimer's, could be for you. If you have 20 year relationship that is in the toilet..could be for you.

If you are a homeless Episcopalian... could be for you too.

More on that tomorrow.