Many of their friends had some of their first experiences with babies and toddlers with her. She was carried around a lot. They all liked to hold her.
Her oldest sister hardly put her down her first year. There was no "let her cry it out" in our house.
Her next oldest sister had a fondness for taking her out with the girls once she started to drive. Two or more teenage girls and a 4 year old bombing around town with the radio blaring.
Her brother and his friends liked to torment her a bit... but It was always good natured.
She was taught completely inappropriate songs like "Gin and Juice"..( was that the name?) and " Baby Got Back"..and "Enter Sandman".
She..who spoke little...did learn some serious swear words early on. Evidently, "the sistas" as she called them... thought that was VERY funny. I am reasonably sure one of the sistas..now a grade school teacher..and new mom...might have a different idea about how funny that is now ...but that is how life goes. Things change.
Change.
Lots of that in the last couple of years.
For example..I am now officially the parent of adults. All of them... card carrying adults.
Not sure how the heck that happened.
Nor am I 100% sure where I fit in here.
It is especially difficult with the married ones...feeling your way around that potential land mind is very tricky. Suddenly every motherly instinct regarding advice..or ignoring their wishes because you think ..well they are just kids and what the heck do they know...suddenly that is not Okay!
If they have children of their own that just ups the ante with the precarious position you may find yourself in.
No longer are you in charge.
Even if you think they need help...even if you think they are wrong...it is now their show.
Theirs to decide what is right ..theirs to do as they see fit. Theirs to make their own mistakes.
Difficult place for any mother to find herself in.
Some of us have more trouble than others.
Some moms... and I have seen them... ignore the fact that their kids are adults and they just do what they want! Can you believe it??
Okay, maybe once or twice I might have done it but by and large I have not been the butinsky type of mama.
Which is not at all the same as not wanting to be the butinsky type of mom.
There is no retirement party for moms...because there is not really an actual retirement for most moms.
I think it is kind of like being the former President. You are used to being in charge..used to people wanting and needing your help and advice..and all of a sudden your opinion no longer really matters. You still see the situations and you think "I know how to handle that" and nobody even asks what you think. The very people that you once had to tell why " you may not stick the scissors in the outlet" or why " you cannot wear your boots and bathing suit to preschool"...
these are the folks in charge now!
Once in awhile..when situations are delicate..you MIGHT be asked for your advice...but usually you are just brought out for show...but nobody plays "Hail to The Chief" for moms.
It is a little hard to get used to.
Don't get me wrong...There are several perks..free time...not having to cook..listening to whatever you want on the car radio...laundry once a week.
I also realize it is way better than having children that cannot function as adults. I thank God every day for the fact that my children grew up. No small thing at all.
So my baby is 21..and 28...and 33...and 35. The circle goes round and round...and so much sooner than they can possibly know their babies will be 21 too.
I pray I am here to see it and...
I will even hum Hail To The Chief for them.
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