arggggggh!!!!

Well, 2011 is off to the races and here is the deal...in case you have not realized it there are times in our lives when we get to just sit back and look around and proclaim..life ain't fair.

What you say?? Not fair? No way??

What, pray tell, makes you say that on this lovely winter day?...well here's the thing...

I have Gout.

Okay..now I hear ya.."That's it?"

"Well Diane...That's too bad but ..really so what??"

I have weathered serious heart failure and intestinal problems that removed part of my intestines and Optic neuritis that resulted in some worsening vision and a droopy eye and spinal stenosis and arthritis and food allergies and...

So what??

Well let me tell you what...

Gout is an old persons disease.

Gout is for fat old Kings in England

Gout is for beer drinking young men

Gout is for people who eat lots of bad for you food..beef and pork and fatty stuff and fast foods.

That is not me.

And... Adding insult to injury...

the Doctor called me....a woman of " a certain age"...

and then he said.."elderly"

Are you kidding me??? I mean WTF???

I think I hate him. I might have said that to him.

I am pretty sure I told him to shut the F++k up.

Twice.

I am trying to date. Dating women are not ELDERLY.

Those broads don't date..they sit..they knit..I can't even sew a button...ask my daughter-in-law...Not even a button.

Brother.

I mean how does one present themselves to potential suitors..."Oh I would love to go out with you as long as my gout is not acting up!! "

I would not date me.

I sound OLD.

And I do not wish to date old folks so... pretty sure they do not want to date..me

Wait, lets get back to not fair...

How is it that someone who has had children that tried to smuggle hot dogs in their Jacket out of Wegman's and had children that got sweet cereal only for a special Christmas present..and was a vegetarian for 12 years and still has a really impeccable diet and truly does work out...How the heck does that person get gout??

Cause life ain't fair.

Sometimes, we do everything we are told to do and said thing still does not have the desired result.

For example...Both my parents... avid readers..crossword puzzle devotees ... didn't really drink or smoke,they ate well and got lots of exercise and yet both ended up with dementia.

Not fair.

But...

That is the way it goes...life is funny... life is precious..life is hard..life is too short..too long..life is all that and more but it really...often ...just boils down to that its just the way it is and sometimes...

It just is not fair.

Nor have we been promised fairness.

Certainly not by God..and hopefully not by parents or anyone else in influential in our lives.

We strive to do"the right thing" for the right reasons.

It is not an assurance of desired results.

The only assurance is that you get to look your self in the mirror and say.."I did the best i could"

Which is something anyway.

Right? Right??

And a deep and abiding belief in God does not preclude a feeling of injustice or just flat out crankiness...

He grants us Grace..Forgiveness and hopefully... peace of mind...even when

Marriages fail..Parents die...Bank accounts tank... Call get derailed...and Egos get bruised

But he never says it will be fair.

At least not yet...Justice will reign...but the promise is more universal than individual and that maybe is what is what helps us most...the reminder that it is not about"me"

And I do remind myself of that...

But

just for a few...I allow myself righteous indignation...

and I am pretty sure that is Okay too.