Demolition Derby

So tonight, while doing some suppertime bickering, the husband says to me " I often wish you were in better health so I could hit you" and I quickly retorted " I wish I had a gun so I could shoot you."

Love...It is not for sissy's.

The plain and simple fact is that the husband and I have a deeply complicated, frequently dysfunctional,and often hilarious relationship.

For example, the theme song to our relationship...something he wrote ( big surprise) is titled " Demolition Derby".
I truly like the song and the fact of the matter is some of the best stuff he has ever written has come when I left him...each time.

This last recording that was made is almost entirely about the cluster f--k of a couple crazy years we spent together and apart.
For smart people we have made some powerfully stupid decisions.

Our relationship started under a cloud and when you have that kind of beginning Nobody really expects you to last...and if you are being honest with yourself you don't expect it to last.

But its been 23 years now. It was 23 years ago that I met him and from the very very first sighting I was gone..done for..it was all over but the shouting.

I remember my very first Kim Draheim sighting. I walked into class and there he was sitting with his legs stuck out in the isle... wearing a long black leather coat..black beatle boots...sunglasses( in class, in winter!)...long hair.
I took it in and stopped breathing, acted nonchalant as I walked by and told my friend that he was obviously "full of himself" when she asked me if I saw him.

I saw him.
He saw me.

Love at first sight.
All that corny crap that neither one of us believes in.
But it happened. At the wrong time, for no real reason, and despite every single reason that it should not have.
AND..
It keeps happening.
I leave, I come back.
I get angry, he writes a song.
He gets angry, I convince him he is an idiot. ( kidding, sort of)

We are old now. Seriously,I really really never in my wildest dreams figure that this kind of crazy romantic drama would happen at this age.
However, since i was reasonably sure I would be dead by 40 I guess that is no surprise.

But here we are...silly old people acting like we are 20.

It occurred to me tonight as I was trying desperately to explain to him my concerns and he was looking at me like I was from another planet...it occurred to me that we are destined to spend the rest of our life together.

It might not always be pretty but...
where else am I going to find someone with who one minute we will be talking about Bob and Tom, followed by NPR, followed by a fight about cat litter and then a heartfelt
" you should be kissing the ground I walk on" dissertation by me...into "hold the baby' I need to finish my blog...and he does.

Fact...he makes me crazy.
Fact...I make him equally as crazy.

So he vows not to hit..I vownever ever to get a gun and so it goes.

"The taste of blood and the smell of gas its a demolition derby and a love the lasts...forever...forever..."